The Swallowing Wars

Sitting at the dining table the other half says: ” you sure make a lot of noise swallowing.” I take another drink of my juice and wonder eh? how can you make noise swallowing? I start defending myself, my mouth is closed how the heck can I make noise swallowing for sakes? Come on be real. No, you really are making noise, more noise than you used to. Ok, er. … my mouth is shut …

Other half then states that I seem to be more deliberate in my eating and drinking affairs. That I appear to be thinking each bite or swallow through. That my eating and drinking patterns have become more attentive, deliberate, that I seem to be concentrating harder when doing so. Like I do with other things now. Of course I had to ask, seems I spend a lot of time concentrating . …

This starts a round of everone at the table trying to make extra noise while swallowing with mouths closed.  Discovery is upon us – yeah. Now really I tried there is only a few ways to swallow. One just slowly let the fluid drain down your throat and hope it does not go the wrong way, and just swallow, you know? Now this might sound odd but really try it. You either swallow or you don’t – right?

It is then decided by others at the table that they can purposely make extra sloshing noises prior to swallowing and using greater force cause the liquid to make louder noises going down the hatch. So, I must be doing this. Well, no I am just swallowing hello! This whole scene was rather humorous watching everyone try and outdo on another – to make noise swallowing.  I gave up cause there is only one dang way to swallow! You either swallow or you choke.

As silly as this sounds I spent quite a bit of time last night swallowing. I came to the conclusion that it really is differet than I remember. I have two modes, swallow or don’t swallow.  I never had really thought about it but it is really not as unconcious of a deal as it used to be.  I actually think about swallowing.  Now ain’t that a kick.