Year: 2009
Bifurcation – Social and Self
Life has gotten confusing in many ways. The cognitive problems that Multiple sclerosis has brought on leave me baffled and confused – a lot. Sometimes it is the simple things such as staring at the television remote and not quite being able to figure out exactly what button it was I was going to push. For whatever reason if I just set it down and start over again all is good.
Then there are the more annoying communication problems. Social situations can become a maze-like trip where the start and end of conversations are not clear let alone the trip between the two points. Reading other blogs and social site messages often leaves me wondering if I have misunderstood someone’s message or if I am reading more into it then there is. The social dynamics of group interactions elude me now and leave me hesitant and insecure enough that I tend not to participate much.
Tasks that were once easy are harder to complete now. It becomes easier and easier to make concessions. It has become obvious that I need to simplify. The new computer is a basic model this really pisses me off. One, that the lack of money played into this but more importantly two, my inability to do what I used to be able to do – like rebuild my old one or hustle and come up with parts to build a new one – really, really, annoy me to no end. Where is the line between compromise and surrender? I am too stubborn to give up.
Put this all together and here I am at another bifurcate in the road of life.
Shiny New
Credit: Gateway
After much crying the blues over the death of my beloved tower I scrambled and finagled my way into getting a computer. Under $500 bucks, nothing special but it works.
I need to purchase a eSATA cable so I can see what lucks on the backup drive. I know I did not backup my email accounts so I spent a bit of time today re setting up outlook. I have the settings memorized now. Another reason I should have moved all correspondence to one account or maybe two. 10 email addy’s from the ISP, and way to many from the company that hosts my websites, and then a few gmail ones to. Yikes.
I am simplifying now. One for family, one for blogs, one for software and other companies, and one for my friends. And the rest can go to where ever old email addresses go.
Next there is the pain of reloading software that I have purchased. It should not be so dang hard to reinstall what you purchased. And Windows Vista sucks. I do not need lots of pretty pictures I need to find the device manager. It is like trying to interface with a comic book. What ever happened to c:/ well not that bad but come on. I am not wanting to go back to FORTRAN and punching cards but . …
At least this gateway has Intel Core(TM)2 Quad CPU Q8200 @ 2.33GHz, 2336 Mhz, 4 Core(s), 4 Logical Processor(s) and 4GB DDR3 memory. Nothing much else worth mentioning but oh yeah it WORKS. The larger letters on the keyboard are kind of spiffy. No more wireless keyboard and mouse to have the batteries take a dump in the middle of something.
The bottom line is I truly am happy that I was able to get any computer!
It Is All Blue
It is bound to happen. Every computer has it’s death. But why O why must it be mine – again 🙁
I stubbornly refuse to give into the funk that is trying to suck me down the rabbit hole into the death star comprised of failed computer parts. The blue screen I suppose the color selection fits.
Perhaps I should call upon the borg? Oh ye wrong alternate sci fi world emmm
Yes I have the laptop with its tiny little keys and wireless access that is as reliable as an old tele with rabbit ears and tin foil.
Tonight my friends and I are going to go and hunt down hard drives with the hope that the recovery discs I made a few years ago will actually work. Seems HP sucks with this and the chance of success is fifty fifty. If I buy the discs I and the recovery discs dont work I am screwed. Cause the cheapest cpu only is more money than I have left. AUGH
Laptops should have bigger keys. Mistake one: I only have on the fly backup for my photos. So all else is toast,
Well wish me luck cause this laptop crap is not gonna work for long as my fingers are either too big or its keyboard is way to small. I was using a news reader in firefox so I have to go hunt down all the blog rss addys again LOL LOL
I so know better than to not back up the whole hard drive oh wells I get to have a clean start if all go well and the recovery discs work. If not the crashing sound you hear is the computer as it hits the ground after being tossed out the window along with the bath water.