I started blogging in 2003. I deleted my original blog and started this one Dec. 3oth, 2005. One of my first consistent readers and commentator’s was drumsnwhistles ( Karoli of odd time signatures and Bang The Drum). I have had the pleasure of knowing her as best as one can via email and blogs.
Karoli blogged a while back about a case where cyber bulling went way to far and resulted in the death of a 13-year old named Megan hanging herself in her closet. While Karoli is an honest blogger I have had my share of dishonest ones.
I even stopped blogging here for awhile after of few weeks of constant harassment over a post I made about a young man who was shot to death in my neighborhood. No big deal until someone knocked on my door -yep my front door of my home! We are never anonymous, although I admit I never really tried hard to be so.
Any of us, and many do I believe, have some sort of system set up to keep track of hits, where they come from, what was read, and all sort of other stats. Some of us do it so we can track what people found interesting. All though I am not sure why I care? I guess it is some deep seated ego type deal because this blog is not set up to sale or promote anything. It is just a place to vent and share.
Ok, hang in there I really do have a point here somewhere.
The first open use cyber bulletin board I remember using was way back when ( hear my bones creaking here) . . . a Prodigy one that was accessible via a V.22 1200 bps modem. It had a simple menu with four items and you had to wait a day for any reply to be posted. It posted on a board for recovering alcoholics. And, here is the point, there were “trolls” and “bullies” then and there are “trolls” and “bullies” now. They just have more available means and mediums to flourish in.
Recently I have joined a few multiple sclerosis forums. I don’t post – I lurk. Why? I do not choose to hang myself out there and be annoyed by the trolls and bullies. I have learned a lot reading through the posts. Some forums are better moderated than others and I have to apply some common sense in distinguishing the facts from the B.S. .
I swear, I can think someones blog post is directed at me when I have never even posted on their blog LOL! And sometimes the emails can be illuminating. When one blogger emails about another behind their back . … it can go on and on. I do not get it? I don’t use instant messaging anymore either after a fiasco involving a person cutting and pasting my name out of one IM and pasting in someone elses nasty stuff.
Lisa at Brass and Ivory posed this question in post:
This opens the door to the question – what are some dangers and drawbacks to online disease-specific communities and forums? what do you do when bullying, stalking, and harassment get out of control?
I am not in the “in” crowd of the MS cyber community but it seems bullies are a topic being discussed.
“The objective is to thoroughly analyze all situations, anticipate all problems prior to their occurrence, have answers for these problems, and move swiftly to solve these problems when called upon. However, when you are up to your ass in alligators, it is difficult to remember that your initial objective was to drain the swamp.”
Just remember you are never as anonymous as you hope online and words do hurt and there are alligators out there waiting to snap.
If I were to come and type mean comments about you, assume someone hijacked my account. It’s completely outside of who I am to do that kind of thing, for exactly the reasons you describe.
Communities are funny things…they bring together people who might not otherwise ever even say howdy to each other, which is a strange and wonderful thing. Unfortunately, the flip side is to somehow allow a small group of people to believe they can say and do anything they want without consequence. Sigh.
Karoli – I could give you my password it that helps LOL I a sure your blog savvy could hack away at all the code and the blog would come out better for it. I have been hacked before remember? You too if I am correct. I now know between 775 and 666!
Thank you for responding. The topic of dangers of forums (etc), as it pertains to MS forums, stems from the experiences of a few individuals on a growing site. In fact, it is something which one MS blogger (Rebecca) had wanted to see in the Carnival for over a month now. (Embarrassingly I forgot her request and submission back in December.) The coincidence with Merelyme is just that, a coincidence.
I’ll add this, too. Even with what seems to be the “in” crowd of MS blogging, it’s not really so. I am a trusting individual who traveled to meet a fellow blogger in person only to have that person behave in a less than desirable way towards me a few months later. There seems to have been a shift in community dynamics and I sometimes wonder if that blogger has emailed others to share her thoughts. But then again, that’s probably just my insecurities shining through.
Well, it’s certainly an interesting topic. So good that you’ve got a friend like Karoli whom you know so well and can trust.
Lisa – I joined the site you had the probs with I assume because I ran across the crapola when browsing the boards there. It reminded me as to why I am a lurker and not a poster!
I just started blogging more again here at kmilyun very aware now that there is not such thing as anonymity on the net.
Perhaps, the use of “in” crowd was a bad choice. Reading it over it does sound sort of high school quad-ish. Just starting this past six months researching MS, lurking around the boards, and reading blogs. I was trying to relay that. Wrong choice of wording for sure.
I should have said something like not heavily evolved instead.
But, my twinge of insecurity is there too LOL. Go figure?
That is one the things that hinders me from really getting something positive from utilizing a forum or board. I have trouble comprehending sometimes and tend to read more into something than there is. I will sit and type up a response and then stew over whether or not I understood the original post to start with.
Everyone who comments here at kmilyun is part of the IN crowd. 🙂
Hi,
Not had any problems with bullies, up to now have only encountered support and friendship.
Only briefly looked at chat rooms and then started to blog and met other bloggers and started reading their blogs.
Since when do not bother with forums, when I need information I check out other blogs or research myself or ask.
Wonder how you deal with it guess the moderator has to step in and barr the bully and it should be discussed so other visitors to the blog are aware of what is happening.
Take care.
Love,
Herrad