Just Put on a Happy Face

Not to be negative but why is that many people think that multiple sclerosis is just an inconvenient thing? That forcing a happy face when things are crappy is a good thing, an expected thing – just go about life we all have our burdens to bare.

I suppose when in a good place it is not so off. Hope and positivity are dangling there like a brass ring at the carnival ride. But, when the disabling stuff is going full force it is hard not feel like an explanation is necessary, it is hard to stifle the urge to scream at someone’s ignorance, however well intentioned there thoughts are.

At least I have a name for what is messing me up. When someone accuses me of being drunk I suppose I have a retort now. It explains why sometimes one of my eyes stops working, why I can’t walk without falling over sometimes, why I have trouble sleeping, why walking through a book store calls for a nap, or when I can’t remember something at least I know why.

I am sure that everyone knows someone that has it and is doing “marvelous” so what is the big deal? Well, there are those of us not doing so great sometimes. It is a strange deal this MS, yah never know till you wake up what parts of your self are gonna work and which parts are not.

It is hard to identify with a self that has a disease that
No one knows what causes it
No one knows what cures it
No one knows what course it will take

Then there is the quality of life deal too . …should I stick myself with needle full of drugs that may or may not make me feel like doo doo and can damage my body once or three times a week OR should I stab myself (afraid major here of needles) once a day and have welts OR should I manage the painful stuff with other drugs and see where it goes OR should I just do what I have been doing – just plugging along pretending it is all OK.

Right now I have lost myself.
Re- invention is necessary
Resistance is futile

This SUCKS!!!

Symptoms of MS