multiple sclerosis

multiple sclerosis

Blah, Blah, Blah . …

flower006I wish I had something marvelous, exciting, or at the least interesting to type but I do not, really.

Lets see -um – I saw my neurologist and there is nothing from that worth putting to type other than she was sure I was in secondary  stage not just considering it. Not sure what that really means other than woo hoo a new label.  I did get to impress her with my ability to make it 4 feet heel to toe in the hallway. I practice doing this everyday along the line in the tile in the living room. OK, it was a wobbly rendition of the drunk test walk but I did not fall.

I have been slowly filling up pots with soil and foliage. The little yard might end up looking like a jungle when all the plants grow up. I even planted a hanging planter. I have been trying to use old bricks to make different levels for the pots. I even installed a little drip system in the brick planter show  in the previous post. It is slow going and really wears me out but it gives me something to do. I do most of the work after the sun goes down so I get to enjoy being outside when it is sort of cool.

I got a prescripiton for a cooling vest that would fit under a life vest, one with the little carry along deal that runs it – put the insurance looks like it won’t cover it blah, blah, blah . … I kind of figured that anyways but hey offer me a prescriptions and I am thinking oh heck why not. It would be nice to be able to get out on the boat and fish. Who knows I might even catch a few bass.  Even with the top we have it just gets too hot too fast for me out on the lake and I am a firm believer in wearing a life vest lest I end up in the water.  Getting wet sort of works but the boat is not exactly set up to get in out of the water like a ski boat would be. Besides the darn water stinks after a few dunks.

Well, maybe the plants will bloom and I will get out there and set up the tripod and give it ago. That way I can set the shot up and use the remote so I don’t shake and wobble and ruin the shot.

This posts photo was taken in a parking lot a few years ago with the Sony F828 I owned before I got my Nikon.

Somewhere in the Middle

handIf you told me a year ago that I would spend most of the day upstairs on the bed watching TV and reading because the heat makes me turn into a cross between Gumby and drunken sailor – I would have told you that you had bumped your head! Man, this MS $hit $ucks.

Sometimes I think my life is Plato’s Allegory of the Cave in reverse. All of a sudden life is just a shadow of what goes on around me. A detached altered reality of sorts I guess kind of passing me by like the shadows cast by the fire on the wall. A question – is it better to see the “real” reality first and the shadows second or to have only seen the shadows?

Then comes clarity of thought, an un-shrouded focus, without fear, without panic, where I can stare the shadow in the eye, and I can live in this world on my own terms. And just as quick I am back to the the WTF stuff.

I wanna go ride my motorcycle, go mountain biking, hike up a mountain and take some pics, freak anything- something.  My adventure of the week so far has been making a trip to Costco and Walmart in the same day. My feet feel like they are on fire, my hands hurt, I feel like a snake is squeezing me, walking is a bitch today. Just a typical day.

Lately I seem to be hung up on history. It is neat in a way, there is a beginning, a story, and I know how it ends. Perhaps it is all the uncertainty in my life right now.  I find myself contemplating some dark subjects. The whole right to die deal, do I have the right to decide when enough is enough? Is it morally right or wrong? The jury in my mind is still out on this one.

Like those before me, my life has a beginning, a story, and eventually an ending. There is a part of me that wonders how long it takes before a photo of me is in someone’s album , just a memory. Right now they are reflections of the way things used to be for me.

Well for sure I am not going gently into the night.

It is not my style.

Opps I am Lazy

It has been a bit O time since I posted anything at all here. Just find myself in a state where I don’t have much too share or choose to share, or maybe just lazy? I have been keeping up on my reading of my favorite blogs but not leaving comments.

Lately it seems that whenever I open my mouth it ends up with me saying something stupid sounding or I get misunderstood and whatever people thought I meant leads to them thinking poorly of me and I end up feeling the outcast. Go figure.

We did go to the baseball game here and watch the RiverCats. The MS Society sponsored a night out at the game providing us with discount tickets. We all had a good time and the weather was great for it. Not to hot and not to cold – just right as the story goes. I wonder if I am two faced accepting the discount tickets when I really have some issues with the local organizations leadership?

Sunday night I had the pleasure of meeting some people from the now defunct tent city. My friend works for an organization that find housing for the homeless. They arrange renting house and placing homeless into them. It is quite the program. I watched a video some of them put together about tent city a few weeks ago. It was interesting talking with them. Whenever we have a dinner at M and M’s you never know who you will meet.

A few weeks ago I met a young man (18) from a communist Latin American country. He came here to “find work” and a “goodier life” but can not – seems running from political oppression does not get you a green card. Many of the folks have been (or are) experiencing some sort of mental illness, substance abuse problems, etc., but a lot of them just were living one pay check to the next and lost their jobs.

More on this front later – maybe.

I sat watching my computer screen logged on to the Ca Supreme Courts site this morning only slightly hopeful that when they posted their ruling it would say that Prop. 8 was over turned. Oh sigh . .. seems it is ok with the State of California to allow a minority group of people to be denied the same rights afforded the majority. I have lived in this state all my life. I am disappointed with the ever growing crime rate, the noise, the shootings, the graffiti, the loud music, the list goes on . …
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You don’t see homosexual gangs running around shooting each other, destroying others property, yet last time I looked they are the only minority group that the State feels necessary to put onto paper a law that discriminates, denies, and purposely sets apart as not equal . …

I am not saying that racial discrimination does not exist, nor that urban poverty is not a catalyst, I am just pointing out that most educated folks realize this, while at the same time apparently think it is OK to deny gay and lesbian marriages. The court and the voters have spoken.

MS Walk Sacramento

I have not gotten up this early in a long time – 6am – well it is super early for my lazy butt.
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It was cold cold cold this morning LOL and last week I was b’ing about the heat LOL!
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Here is a shot from the terrible camera in my cell phone of the MS walk end at the State Capitol. Crummy pic I know but hey – did I mention it was cold???
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another shot
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