Health

Health

End of the Arse

Some of you know me via this blog ( as best as you might just reading what I choose to share) and some of you know me in person. Those that really know me are aware of what a stubborn pain in the arse I can be.

I have always been a sort of anti drugs type person. When I had surgeries on my wrist years ago I was given Vicodin for the pain.  I found the bottle the other day when I had a headache that would not go away I went hunting and found over half the pills still there. Relax, I did not use them. The date on the bottle? 1994.  I am not a sufferer, I just hate drugs. I decided I had better go through the cabinet and get rid of all the outdated junk in there.  The proper dispossal of prescription drugs – well that is a whole nother story.

I am leery of  over the counter and prescription concoctions. I am one of those that reads all the warnings and side effects.  Once I had to take Cipro and I swear I thought I was gonna die. It made me feel like my insides were getting eating up by some evil thing. This reaffirmed my stance on the evils of drugs. In fact I really never got sick until I took that crap.

My doctor persuaded me to take lovastatin and small dose aspirin to ward off another stroke and I embraced  the wonders of thyroid meds. But, I am sure she felt like she was pulling teeth. I even swallow two vitamin pills each day now too.  I still mutter and crumble about it.

Then along came this you have multiple sclerosis deal.  It is not a fair deal.  Cat Stevens Miles from Nowhere lyrics somehow fit my mood right now.  I found a video from a live concert in 1976 – the year I graduated high school.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNId6M4SSNk[/youtube]

Well the neuro prescribed some neurontin the other day and my primary gave me some new vicodin a few weeks ago. I read all the possible side effects, yep, I am rather arse about it. I even look at the chemical compositions too. Just nerdy arse stuff I guess.

I have been thinking about all this lately.  Mostly because I lay trying to go to sleep thinking anything and everything.  A less  nerdy arse person might get the drift but I am a slow one apparently.

What I came up with is not great unheard of revelation, no ground breaking here, but, my pea little brain finally got the message that like DUH. Why not take the silly pills?

So that is my big revelation of the week.  I took the neurontin before going to bed and all be danged the stuff worked. In fact, I am suppose to take it before going to sleep, but with my feet and hands not feeling the burning, freezing, and zapping,  I so enjoying staying awake LOL.   The vicodin took care  of some the other pains last week when I gave it a go.  I find it interesting how one zaps out one pain and the other a differnt type.  I think I am loving the neurontin.

I can look back and find lots of symptoms and problems I have had for years, I just never really complained much. And, when I did I usually got the your depressed or faking it from the Dr’s. so I sort just forged on with my life.

I am now gonna squeel like a little piggy.  I write everything down now. Things I thought everyone experienced  that I wrote off to getting older – well, turns out not to be so.

I can not make the MS go away. But, I sure can try and not feel like what comes outmy dogs arse’.

I hereby announce my proclamation of “End of Arse”.

I will try not to be such an arse about it.

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Keeping Busy – sort of

Not much new around here but I figured I had better type something before you all thought I had disappeared again.

Went to my neurologist appointment yesterday – not sure why I had one? it was made by the doctor.  I guess I am suppose to check in.  I don’t really see the point I guess unless I have a specific problem or question.  Most questions get the dunno or could be responses LOL  I appreciate that the doc does explain things, answer questions, and has no problem saying “dunno”.  I have more problems with the right leg now – duh – and got a prescription for neurontin (gabapentin).

I did bring a list of questions and sort of understood most of what she said.  I will have to email to clarify some things that kind of flew by my mind and I am such a pain in the arse when my other half says “no she said this not that”, especially when it is something I did not wish to hear. I think she said she was leaning towards I was in a secondary stage but the other half is not sure either -s0?  She was very ok with my not wanting to try the disease modifying drugs, in fact, she said if I were younger  she would push them, but, because of my age and other factors she was not inclined to.  While I was in the building I had my scheduled blood work done and got a flu shot – ouch!   I am such a sissy.

I started a new page here on the blog to keep track of what I have been reading.  I started a table to enter the info in. It now depends upon my remembering to add the titles as I finish each book. Ummm – we shall see . …

I have a few friends that I borrow and loan books with.  I get a back and loan a bag. I most enjoy the books I purchase over the borrowed because I love to read in the bath tub.  I just can’t bring myself to take the chance of dropping someones  book into the water.   I did give my mom all the Nevada Barr paperbacks so my collection is a few books smaller.  I know I should just go to the library but – well I have no good reasons really other than I like having my own books, hardbacks are hard for me to hold at length, and I read fast and don’t like returning them.

Well off to play with wordpress child themes again – I might use one  here too – they are a sure way to not have files overwritten by updates  and stifles the  screaming  when an errant stroke of the key or flight of the mouse sends code into lah lah land .  Then I am off to whine some more about my sore arm from the shot and start another book.

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Dunno Dance

Annie

I am doing what I now call my acceptance of denial dance. I have never had the required rhythm to dance great and it seems that life right now fits right into that analogy –I got no rhythm going here.

Now if someone told me I had A disease and if I did B I would get C then ok. But come on, after net searching, forum pursuing, blog reading, and asking questions of the docs, here is what I have come up with about MS:

Dunno what causes it
Dunno what cures it
Dunno what is going to happen
Dunno ________ fill in the blank.

Well how about I dunno if I really want to claim this multiple sclerosis diagnosis. I mean what the heck. I am not in the frame of mind or understanding to use the, and this is important to me, disease modifying drugs they have available – why chance feeling like doo doo or damaging my organs – when only potential to slow the inevitable down exists?

So, I should call the MS society here right? Maybe they have some better info or help or support you know? Well, what I got was an offer to bicycle in the next fund raiser. If I want to call ahead I can go to the newly diagnosed meeting – next January. The support group deal has not worked well for me. The first group spent most of their time arguing politics and since has been cancelled. The second group – I guess I was not up on the proper etiquette – silly me I answered a question truthfully.  I must have gotten the wrong dance card.

Planning for the future is depressing. We own a two story townhouse, the neighborhood has now turned ghetto (impossible to sell in this market) anyways. No way to afford a new home. Working on the debts that two full time salaries used to pay and since I can’t work we are down to one plus a small amount from SSDI. So, in about six years LOL we will be out of debt if and only if we have no more major expenses. It scares the heck out of me that I won’t make it up the stairs someday since the only bathtub/shower is up there. And yes, you can scoot up to the landing and then up the next set of stairs on your ass – been there done that dance before (not due to MS).

My friends and partner are very supportive and my dogs still think I am head wolf so life is good. These people have known me for years – some most of my life. So at least they know that I don’t not do something because I am lazy etc.

My friends and I started a photography group. He has since left state so I was doing it but it is too much for me right now (we have 292 members) so my other friend is doing all the work. I miss being able to know that if I say I will be somewhere and do something that I will be able to be there. I hate that my eyes mess up my ability to see through my camera lens well.

So for right now I am trying to eat better, exercise when I can, read a lot, and see what happens when I wake up tomorrow.

If I just ignore this dance I suspect the result will be the same But then again who knows?

Members of my pack:

Annie and Mr.Catfish

The Cost of Being Sick

Average disease modifing drugs 1 month 1,200.00 – 1,500 co pay – $400.00

Provigil for fatigue  co pay = $280.00 20% cause no generic

No generics, no deals, no can do LOL I am having a hard enough time coming up with my co pay to visit the DR.

I guess you are suppose to be either super poor or super rich.

Stupid me for working all my life.

UPDATE: I did find a coupon for a free 7 day trial from the drug company for Provigil, so if it works I am good to go for 7 days.