Health

Health

Clutter

f/3.3, 1/30 sec, at 6.3mm, 100 ISO, on a PENTAX Optio WP

f/3.3, 1/30 sec, at 6.3mm, 100 ISO, on a PENTAX Optio WPI was looking around my little room that I loosely will call an office and noticed the clutter is getting out of hand. The computer work area is overload to the max! My pile of discs that I am burning the photos onto is growing and I still have not hung any of my pictures and stuff. Clutter is not a good thing especially since the multiple sclerosis monster decided I was it’s buddy. Some friend eh?

Picking up the clutter is a pain in the arse anymore.  I know if I figure out where to put everything away nice and neat that in following through and actually doing the chore I will run out of gas and end up snoozing away. If I leave it out it sends my mind into a crazy over load. I so am not going to show you the mess my closet in here has become!  Do I pick it all up and then snooze or do I sit here feeling the sensory overload and self inflicted guilt for being lazy?

f/3.3, 1/30 sec, at 6.3mm, 100 ISO, on a PENTAX Optio WP

Somehow not having everything all nice and lined up like little ducks behind momma becomes an in my face sort of thing  pointing  out to me how much control I do not have.  Between my body not doing what I ask it to do and the neighborhood noise I get so frustrated sometimes.

There really is never a time of silence around here. Well, if I put on my headset that looks like it belongs on a large equipment operator or maybe on the flight line LOL it gets muffled. Unfortunately so do the dogs AKA the early alert system.

Other updates umm let me think . . . . . . . . . . oh yeah. On the computer front my little gateway is finally getting straightened out – no more evil blue screen of death occurrences lately.  The tower computer my friend sold me is working away. The new graphic card and power supply improved performance.  And, the old XP machine is still plugging away.  So now instead of having NO computer I have backup LOL. I means seriously, when the one and only computer took a dump (the XP machine) and I was without you would think the world was ending or Henny Penny was right and the sky fell.  Well I might not have the fastest computer on the block but at least I got backup.

f/3.3, 1/30 sec, at 6.3mm, 160 ISO, on a PENTAX Optio WP

I have been building computers in my head to pass the time. If I had a few bucks I could build a super duper one for a whole lot less that if I went and purchased it. Wishful thinking ha ha.

I have not taken any photos for awhile mostly because of the weather and not feeling it so to say.

The neighborhood is a little quieter now that the rain and wind are here. This past weekend was one of the first warm spring like ones we have had and the bad element type folks seem to get more rambunctious when the warmer weather arrives.  Many of us in here are dreading the arrival of summer if this past weekend is an indicator of what is to come.

More later.

Acrimonious Acronyms

I keep forgetting to write about my last Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) results probably because they are the good/bad type. Good that nothing in the brain has changed in two years! Still numerous lesion but no new ones. I have been to enough talks and seen enough charts and graphs to understand that in secondary progressive (SPMS) or let us just say a progression from relapsing remitting ms (RRMS) the lesion load stops gaining while disability levels go up based on Expanded Disability Status Scale (EDSS).

The baffling portion was the results from the spinal MRI. I did get a copy of the MRI scans and the radiologist’s initial reports. I spent a lot of time squinting blowing up the spine series pictures and scratching my head. In my previous MRI, the spine was full of lesions. They were obvious. No real techno knowledge needed they were obviously there.

This time I could not see them. The radiologist report said “no imaging findings of demyelinating disease in the cervical spine”. I am not imagining this woo hoo. However, if this is so then. …

That said I did spend a few days in a state of bliss where I allowed myself the belief that the MS was going away. That was in October. On December 1, I had an appointment with my Neurologist. We went over the MRI results. I like my neurologist she is one of those Dr.’s that is not afraid to admit an error or when she is as confused as I am LOL.

She told me that she had taken my brain MRI to the other neurologists and they all agreed that the lesions in my brain were MS lesions and with my medical history, I had MS. Umm I am thinking I thought this was settled a few years ago. When I asked about the spinal lesions not being there she thought that the original MRI might have been flawed something about artifacts. I just looked at her and said – but they were there, lots of them, in different series- how can that be? She admitted it made no sense and that was why she had taken my records to the other neurologists.

Therefore, I came home with the reaffirmation that yeah you still got MS dingbat. Bummer.

The next day I received an email from my neurologist . … since I was also mystified (wow, my neuro. is mystified) … cervical spine MRI images. … presented both of them at neuroradiology conference . … the lesions on the first MRI were real and not artifactual and the lesions disappeared on the second MRI . …

It then went on to say they agreed that spinal lesions generally do not disappear like brain lesions sometimes do but that once in awhile it happens like in my case.

I emailed her back after researching more and asked for clarification about how lesions are picked up on MRI:

“If I have this right there are 3 types of lesions. Active – seen using the contrast dye , in the process of healing lesions with high water content shown on MRI, and then missing/disappeared lesions. If spine lesions don’t usually show dye and the fatty myelin is replaced/fixed the MRI no longer measures high water content so does not show but some damage is still there from when myelin was missing but is not measurable?’

Response:

You’re correct as to the 3 types of lesions.

“so does not show but some damage is still there from when myelin was missing but is not measurable?” – that’s what we think.

I am going with Remylenation but I gotta wonder – maybe MS is the catch all when they can not figure anything else out.

I have gone from your faking it, your depressed, you have lupus, you do not have MS, you have MS, your RRMS, your SPMS, your lesions were fake, your lesions were real, your lesions are gone . … along with tests that showed I should not be walking, my eye sees better than it should . …

Good grief. I am glad I trust my neuro. And always being the work it while you can type I got my request to test for Lyme disease granted. It is the only differential that has not been ruled out – so what the heck!

The Leaf

I am a bit under the weather. One of the gals in our PE class gave some of us illness. I have not gotten sick like this for a long time. It kind of sucks because my balance is way off, my numb limbs are getting number, and the bit of vision I have gained back in my left eye has left again

I guess my over active MS system is on the attack. Would be nice if it wiped out this freaking cold and sore throat. It never ceases to amaze me how on one side of the deal my over active immune system usually keeps me from getting sick yet, on the other side of the deal when I do it is not good. I mean the little guys are out trying to off the cold junk but mess up the nerve junk. Augjh!

I did not get much done today and did not go to the refuge as planned. Cancelled my plans to go for a cuppa joe with my pal Chuck also.  I did pick up a small leaf and made a silly movie with it.

Fun looking at things closer.

It took awhile to get the thing to render but finally I got it uploaded to youtube and the photo to flickr.

So below is the video and then the leaf photo.

The Leaf

look at leaf in the large size to see more detail

Play-doh Brain

I spend hours researching and reading articles and studies that reference the brain.
Specifically remapping. The brains amazing plasticity. Many of us have watched
Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor’s stroke of insight video. I am not as interested in the nirvana stuff she talks about but the info about the abilities of the brain.

Until the answers to the questions of  what causes multiple sclerosis, what will it do to me, and is there a cure?  are not “don’t know”  I am thinking (augh my brain may get bigger LOL) that it is up to me to do the best I can and learn whatever I can.

Functional MRI uses radio waves and a strong magnetic field to image the body. It can identify signs that neurons in a specific area of the brain are firing,  processing information and giving commands to the body. Way cool wish I could have one done. Seems a better reason to spend time in the tube than checking on MS lesions.

Studies show that what we do with our minds alters the neural circuits and sometimes results in the building of brain tissue.  This interests me greatly. If a part of the brain is damaged by lesions it is possible (maybe) to train another part – create new synaptic connections? I choose to believe so. Oh yeah the psychology of motivation with a bit of prayer and meditation throw in can hurt.

A few years back at the National Institutes of Health functional MRI was used to scan brain action in jazz musicians.  When the musicians improvised the area of the brain that is involved in the integration of information to support complex goals and purpose (medial prefrontal cortex) became more active while the area that is involved in inhibiting behavior and monitoring thinking and associated with anxiety (dorsolateral prefrontal cortex)  became less active.  There is even a study done on Taxi drivers showing that responsible parts of the brain for navigation – spacial relations (hippocampus) was bigger in cab drivers than in non cab drivers.

Lots of studies have been done on Neuroplasticity (also known as cortical re-mapping) mostly in involving stroke recovery. I leave the Google stuff  to you for reference on this one.

The brain seems to be able to rewire itself and it grows in areas that are used.   Gray does matter when counting brain cells.  A study done at the Massachusetts General Hospital using MRI found that people who practiced meditation had more gray matter in the part of the brain linked with attention and sensory processing.

Of course exercise and what we eat influence our brains also.

Enough sleep is good too so if I have put you to sleep with what is running around in my play-doh mind I have accomplished something positive.