holidays

I have been in a funk. The kind I get when I am under a barage of ho ho ho and Merry Christmas cheer from all sides. I am not a scrooge I am just not having a cheery life right now.  Somewhere between feeling bad and having economic hard times my usual over board cheery holiday self left on the last boat headed out to sea.

I have been known to decorate my truck with battery operated Christmas lights, wreath on the grill, and drive around blarring seasonal music.  I can spend hours wrapping gifts and making my own bows.

But not this year. I am emotionally trying to deal with what my new vision of me and my future will be.  The saying ‘when life gives you lemons make lemonade” makes me want to throw the dang lemons and watch them break into pulpy pieces.

I have friends that have their power turned off, phones turned off,  and I can’t help out. I have very special people going through really tuff times in Nevada and I can’t get there because of the bad weather and I don’t dare assume I could handle the drive let alone chaining up! For the first time in many years I truly feel helpless to help.

Money is short here. Funds set aside for presents had to spent for a new radiator for the car. AUGH! at least I am not alone in this one!

But, here is the but, I have saved a twenty dollar bill for three months, hidden in my wallet at the bottom. I decided it was for something special not knowing what that special would be.

I used it the other day and it brought a moment of happiness to someone and that is the point.

Regardless of spiritual beliefs the message of the season reached me.

I am happy for a few moments here too. 🙂