This is the time of the year where all the seasonal hoopla send my mind to contemplating the past year. The year in review thing runs through my mind constantly. This year I am stuck on all the stuff/things that have changed. Mostly because of having MS.
I do not go out and walk the trails along the river to take photos anymore. A few years ago I rode my motorcycle along the river road and pulled over and snapped away. Now I can get all turned around in the delta and put forty extra miles on my truck trying to drive my way out of the proverbial wet paper bag. Walking down a levy to water side and later finding out that my uncooperative legs do not really thing going back up the levy is part of the deal.
I used to never ever read a series of books out of order. Read the first, second, . … etc. . I never could understand how someone would read the third in a series and then go back and read the first. Now I do. First off, money- hello why pay twenty bucks to get the newest in the series or $7.95 for the first when I can hit the Goodwill and second hand shops and pick up the same book (albeit slightly worn). Yep, I have less than half of income I did when working full time. SSD is not living high for sure.
I am finding that I enjoy reading the series out of order. It may be the reason I like history. It is super to know how it turns out. No wondering if character A dies if they are still alive for books later in series. I really like knowing how it turns out.
My significant other’s company was bought by what I call the evil empire of doom (Karoli you are probably the only one who knows which company so shhh) they are so ugly that I am afraid to put their name here as who knows who might read it? They are doing the usual for this economic time but they are doing it to the long time full time hourly employees and not the part timers. After 30yrs she gets to work all lates and maybe they will cut the hours to 32 a week -and so does the other long time employee with a special needs child to care for. oh happy joy joy. Last year we spent Christmas eve and New Years day together. Now I get to watch the boob tube while she works because the new company stays open on holidays.
The problems that trickle down to me include dealing with a very unhappy stressed out partner to forgetting to take my meds, to eat etc. Amazing how dependent I am a consistent routine. We had our personal quite times and together times all worked out. Seems now she is downstairs doing her thing at the time I would be doing mine. And I am ready to call it day by the time she winds down from work and honestly I am to freakin tired to carry on a coherent conversation. Apparently somewhere my cues to eat, take my meds have disappeared. My routine is shot to hell. I am not sure how to fix it LOL I can not sleep later as soon I start the PE class in morning. I have never in over 27 years seen KRP this down and it scares the heck out of me.
We bought TV dinners to cover the nights I am to dingy to cook. And I spent hours researching medicine reminders. I figured out a watch type deal would work the best for me. Most of them require the turning and pushing of tiny little buttons to program and are real easy to accidentally hit the wrong button when turning an alarm off. Just what I need eh? I did find a Timex that is programed via the computer woo hoo! Not wanting to order something on the net to find out it would not work I googled and googled until I found a shop in ‘Vacaville that had two of them in. KRP took me there tonight and I spent Christmas money and bought one and received 30% off because of the after Christmas sale.
It took a whole hot 5 mins to load the software and enter my reminder alarms. It beeps and the screen text tells me what the reminder is. Beep beep take your neurontin, beep beep – eat on so on. I can even sync it with my Outlook calendar. The only negative that is apparent right off is that it takes a special watch band. I am going to order two so I have them. All I have to remember now is to put on the wrist watch. I stopped wearing one a few years back.
Wish I could see how this life of mine turns out ha ha. Like the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future. Only I got stuck with the Ghost of MS.
I swear I have lost IQ points this year.
My lips and fingertips are sealed. I’m sorry this year has been so difficult, but in reading your post, I was taken by all the creative ways you’ve learned to cope and are managing a life interrupted. Sticks, too, has had to learn to manage something he never dreamed he’d be coping with ever, much less at age 20. As much as it sucks, it’s clear that you have lost no IQ points at all, but are stretching in directions you’d never go without being pushed there.
It’s a good thing. Not a bad thing. Yes, I hope the economy picks up and we’re not just stuck with scraping by, but it’s good to know there are friends out there creating new ways to find a path to the next day successfully.
Happy New Year. May 2010 bring you and your partner joy, peace, health and love. 🙂
Thank you for the kind wishes!
I can not really imagine how hard it must be for Sticks to be dealing with (and I like this description) “managing a life interrupted” at such a young age. Here I am dealing the best I can at the age of 51 with my whole life ahead of me and your beautiful young son is doing the same, as we all do.
It is quite an exercise of my mind – I look back and he is looking forward? Chronic illness alters our paths – I wonder how I would have managed, what path I would have gone down, if I had to face all this sucko stuff so early in life?
Reading what you have shared through the years on your blog I somehow know that your kids are strong, your family loving, supportive, and spiritual. Not to mention how talented Dancer Girl and Sticks are!
This past year has really stretched many of us in many ways. Our spirits will not be crushed!