I think maybe I have gotten out of my mopey denial and acceptance of limitations mode.
Freak it I am not going down without a fight – well I still fall down if I close my eyes, misstep, etc. but that is not what I mean.
Hey there is stuff I can do if I just get off my arse and give it a try. So what if I look like a dork?
I have been forced to give up many things due to the MS Monster the ever so willing take take taker. I can not launch my boat, I can not ride motorcycles anymore, hike up a mountain – yeah in four days maybe! But you know what I am determined that I am gonna ride my mountain bike again.
My poor mountain bike has been hanging since 2004 🙁 . I mentioned before that I had gotten it down and started to wipe it off – gosh who knew how many fuzz bunny type things and dust would accumulate so fast – I mean it was only up there four 5 years – go figure! Unlike my dulcimer he does have a name well, actually more than one. Thor, Red, and M$%^F#^’r when he cause me to fall boom or crash – yah never my fault!
Anyway as as become a regular around this blogs digs – the video:
Ok after the other day I am so stoked that I am having a good balance day!
Not that I don’t deserve it mind you – for the last four years (when I had my 1st stroke -still wonder if they were not really MS but it really was different in some ways than what I got going on now) I have spent a good hour or two doing silly exercises like standing in a corner on a pillow and trying not to fall to pulling my toes up with a giant rubber band thing. I learned most of these in physical therapy for my strokes.
The new PE class has really helped with providing more specific exercises for improving balance and gait. Some of them really seem kind of pointless until the results roll in. The core strengthening has helped the most so far I think. I am staring at my feet less when on solid ground. Since I really don’t feel my feet the feedback in my upper legs and torso are my main ways of knowing where the heck my little tootsies are at any given moment.
Watching videos about exercises suggested for MS, the mechanics of walking, peoples stories etc. – no I am not gonna tell you I can climb a mountain or that I willed my way into this but I do believe that doing everything I can when I can helps. Gosh if wanting something to be so worked I would be one MS free gal. Please remind me of this positiveness when I am in a crap mode.
Balance is another thing. Close my eyes and I am almost guaranteed to go down for the count. But when you see my video below realize that this seriously is the first time in almost a year that I could do this – just saying . … I am not gonna go down without a fight no matter how small the victories are but this one is huge to me and I am hoping it stays. Once again, remind me when I can’t and am in crap mode.
From my Doc’s I pretty much have gotten it is what it is and offers of adaptive aids. Never other than three exercises supposedly specific to my needs with my issues because of the Multiple sclerosis (squatting slowly holding something, standing on my toes, and trying to do some sort of crunch). Then again I only was allowed to see the physical therapist I think it was four or five times?The neurologist is so worried that I might fall down that I never get more than five feet before she goes nuts. The message is you can not do it so stop. And the electrocution doc (physio something – the ones that zap you to test responses etc) had the same message.
Well, I still can not feel my foots (if toes are toes then two foot are foots and there are three feet in a yard – I swear I don’t know whose feet are in my yard but they are not mine) but . …
This morning I woke up extra stiff – after I took a bath my eyes went south. My fingers are nasty stuck and my balance is wackier than normal. So, I played couch potato and stuffed my face with all sorts of foods that probably are not the good for me. You know the stuff: brownies, potato chips, . …
Hope this state goes away and is not one of those gifts that keeps on giving. I think I did too much yesterday and slept crappy.
I promised my friend in our MS group that I would be apart of her team for the WalkMS this year. Last night after lots of clicking and muttering foul words I finally navigated about the site enough to get the basics done. I am on the team. There is no easy way to navigate to my section if I go somewhere on the site and try and get back again.
Why o why make me go to a my participant center and then have to reselect my city, etc? Oh well. I wrote a cute little why I walk thing up only to have it disappear because I started using the browser back button so it reverted to whatever I went back to I guess. Anyway I think I did it OK. Now the fun part hitting folks up for money!
First off I would like to encourage you all to stop by Cranky’s digs at Musings of a Cranky Caregiver and perhaps share some love and caring as she and Skip grieve the loss of their beloved Sally.
Nothing get my tears flowing more than the pain I know they are going through. And then I start tearing up thinking about the fur family members we have had to say goodbye to.
There is no good sequay into todays post so I will just move on.
So far we have have only three name suggestions for the Blue Lion dulcimer pictured here: Ouisie (Ouiser), Hazel and Maggie.
Now I realize this is not a burning issue of importance but . … so far I am leaning toward Ouiser with Maggie a close second. Since there are only three choices here – come on folks chime in with suggestions!!
I am sticking to my goals that I have set out for this year. Some are to go to every PE class (unless ill), play my dulcimer, ride my mountain bike, and remember to eat LOL LOL who would think you would forget to eat!
As promised the video of week two documenting my attempts at learning to play the Doxology on my unnamed dulcimer is here:
I think maybe I have gotten out of my mopey denial and acceptance of limitations mode.
